MÄNNER VERSTEHEN

 

MÄNNER WOLLEN EFFEKTIV SEIN.

MÄNNER WOLLEN GEWINNEN.

MÄNNER MÖCHTEN FAIR BEHANDELT WERDEN - BEDEUTET, WENN SIE DEINE WÜNSCHE UND DESIRE ERFÜLLEN, WOLLEN SIE DAFÜR ANERKENNUNG ERHALTEN.

DIE DREI SCHLÜSSEL ZUM HERZEN EINES MANNES:

ZUSTIMMUNG/ANERKENNUNG

WÜRDIGUNG/RESPEKT

VEREHRUNG/LIEBE

MÄNNER WOLLEN IHRE FRAUEN GLÜCKLICH MACHEN.

WENN IHRE FRAUEN GLÜCKLICH SIND, FÜHLEN MÄNNER, DASS SIE GEWINNEN.

WENN IHRE FRAU UNGLÜCKLICH IST FÜHLT ER SICH ALS VERSAGER.

FÜR EINEN REIFEN MANN IST DAS ZENTRUM SEINER WELT NICHT SEINE FRAU! DAS ZENTRUM DER WELT EINES MANNES MUSS SEINE BESTIMMUNG SEIN. ER SCHAFFT EINE WELT, IN DER ER EINE FRAU EINLADEN KANN.

HILF DEINEM MANN SEINE EIGENE WELT ZU ERSCHAFFEN. BITTE IHN NICHT, DICH ZUM ZENTRUM SEINER WELT ZU MACHEN.

WENN ER DICH ZUM ZENTRUM SEINER WELT MACHT, WIRST DU IHN FRÜHER ODER SPÄTER ALS SCHWACH EMPFINDEN UND WÜTEND AUF IHN SEIN.

DEIN MANN KANN NICHT 23 STUNDEN AM TAG DEIN SCHOSSHUND SEIN UND DANN FÜR DIE STUNDE IM BETT DEIN MASKULINER MANN SEIN.

FÜHRUNG UND DOMINANZ FUNKTIONIEREN SO NICHT.

WENN DU WILLST, DASS DEIN MANN MASKULIN IST, DANN UNTERSTÜTZE DIESE DOMINANZ RUND UM DIE UHR.

ER KÜMMERT SICH UM SEINEN EIGENEN ANTEIL, IN DIESER DYNAMIK ZU SPIELEN; DU KANNST NICHT ALLES FÜR IHN TUN, ABER DU SPIELST DEINEN ANTEIL.

JE TIEFER, INTENSIVER UND BESTÄNDIGER DU DEINE HINGEBUNGSVOLLEN FEMININEN ARCHETYPEN EINNIMMST, DESTO MEHR WIRST DU DEINEN MANN INSPIRIEREN UND EINLADEN, MASKULIN UND FÜHREND ZU SEIN.

BRILLIANTE FEMININE FRAUEN KREIEREN BRILLIANTE MASKULINE MÄNNER.

 

 

Männer gewinnen. Männer verlieren.

Frauen verpassen die Brillienz in Männern.

Frauen machen nicht das Beste aus ihren Männern.

Frauen wissen nicht wie sie das Beste aus ihren Männern herausholen. 

 

 

Es ist wichtig, dass wir Frauen lernen wie Männer funktionieren. Das macht unser Leben und das Leben aller Menschen um uns herum leichter. Das kann er nicht tun, er, der Mann kann dir nicht beibringen wie das geht. Hier brauchen Frauen Begleitung und Coaching.

 

 

 

 

 

Alles was Männer wollen ist: Gewinnen. Gewinnen ist das beste Wort, welche beschreibt was einen Mann stark steuert.

 

 

Hier geht es nicht um das Spiel des Gewinnens und Verlierens, welches aus dem Ego entspringt und er nur einen Gewinner und einen Verlierer gibt.

 

Männer sind nicht interessiert Frauen zu besiegen. Männer wollen unerschütterlich fest mit Frauen gewinnen. Wenn seine Frau glücklich damit ist was er tut, wie er ist, was er ihr bringt, dann fühlt er sich als Gewinner. Umgekehrt, wenn sie unglücklich und unerfüllt ist mit dem was er tut, wie er ist, wie er sie penetriert, was er offeriert, verliert der Mann.

 

 

Sein Gewinnen hängt direkt von der ANTWORT die die Frau gibt ab. Die unmittelbare Antwort der Frau ist für sen Herz und seine Seele wichtig.

 

Ganz simple:

 

Ein Mann bietet X einer Frau. Frau mag das Angebot. Mann ist glücklich, weil die Frau mit seinem Angebot glücklich ist.

Ein Mann bietet X einer Frau. Frau mag das Angebot des Mannes nicht. Der Mann verliert mit der Frau, weil sie über sein Angebot nicht glücklich ist.

 

 

 

 

Stell dir vor, dass jeder Mann auf seiner Brust zwei Lichter hat: ein rotes Licht und ein grünes Licht. 

Imagine there are two little lights stuck in the chests of men: green and red.  When he feels he has won, the green light goes on.  When he feels he has lost, the red light goes on.  HE HAS NO CONTROL OVER THESE LIGHTS HIMSELF!  He is not deciding when one or the other goes on.   He is not judging you when he loses.  Nor can he help loving you when he wins.

Really…just treat this system of his as if it were robotic.  It is not personal.  It’s just the way we are built from our core.  Green light.  Red light.  A Win.  A Loss.  The gal that can make that green light flash and flash again will remain in our heart.  We will cross deserts and mountains for you.  Why?  For our own selfish reasons—because that green light blazing on in our chest is what we live for.  And a woman who can make that light come alive, we will seek you and find you and cherish you.

Conversely…every time that red light flashes, men die a little.  We get smaller.  We feel smaller.  It hurts.  The more we lose with a woman, the more we want to escape from her company.  We feel we are not doing any good being around her anyway.  She doesn’t seem happy with us.

If you as a woman cause that red light to flash, take some responsibility for it.  If you say, ‘Well, that’s just your stupid light; you deal with it’ you are being disingenuous.  Men are no more solitary creatures than are women.  Men are excruciatingly susceptible to women.  And I don’t think this is much news to women!  You make regular use of this susceptibility of men towards you, so also take responsibility when what you do and say makes him feel he is losing with you.  You are a participant in this.  In fact, you are almost entirely at cause.  I will say it again, we men ourselves don’t have any direct control over this green or red.  Because, believe me, if we did have control, not unlike some lab rats on cocaine, we would just sit on the couch blinking away our own green light and giving ourselves that feeling that we are winning.  It would be better than masturbation.  

This also does not mean that men’s win-loss configuration does not change and evolve over time.  It does.  Part of a man’s maturing is very much tied to his grappling with the challenge of loss and failure in life.  The more a man evolves, the more he grows into his character and finds his place in life, the less potent and less frequent that red light gets.  But on any given day, at any given hour, a man is not in control of what experiences in life register as a win or a loss.  So if you really want to learn to operate men, accept their green and red as a given.  Whatever makes him feel he has won with you will bring you closer together.  Whatever makes him feel he has lost with you will drive him away.

 

Men WANT to be Well Used!

In fact, one of the most effective ways to pull your man out of his doldrums is to use him well.  

How to use a man well:

1.  Give him a task he can succeed at.

2.  When he succeeds at that task, let him see and feel how his action and accomplishment made your life better.

Men have a singular relationship directive:  MAKE WOMAN HAPPY!  

If they succeed in making woman happy, Man Win!  If Woman unhappy, Man lose.

 

 An Unhappy Woman Is A Losing Proposition!

This may sound harsh, but it is gospel!  

There is a common saying often heard down south, ‘If Mama aint’ happy, aint nobody happy!’   

Show me a miserable household and I’ll show you a miserable woman at the center of it.  At the heart of every miserable marriage, you will find a miserable wife.  No man has left a happy woman!

 

 NO MAN HAS EVER LEFT A HAPPY WOMAN!

No man has ever left a woman he was succeeding at making happy.  Our woman’s happiness is our bread and air.  Your happiness is our paycheck.  That’s how we want to be paid in our relationship for our efforts.  If the woman is unhappy, we are pretty much starving and pay-less.  And a woman we can’t make happy is flat-out a losing proposition.  

Look at men when they are emerging from a break-up.  You will find them in this broken, pay-less state of failure.  That red light in their chest has been flashing and flashing.  They’ve been getting smaller and smaller in their relationship.  They have been drinking and sighing for a while wondering how much more of this they can take, or should take, or how much of this is USEFUL to take.  There is no point in being with a woman you can’t make happy.

When men stray and have affairs, the driving motive is once again those two lights in their chest.  Women would like to believe that men are dogs and they are always chasing a younger piece of ass or a prettier piece of ass.  The fundamental truth is this:  they are chasing any woman who can make that green light in their chest come on.  They are chasing women they feel they can win with.  They are chasing women they feel they can make happy.  They are seeking that emotional bread and air that they so desperately need in their relation to women—approving women, women who know how to use them well, women who are happier because of the contribution the man is making to her life.

 

 The Myth of the DEMANDING Women.

Women often make the mistake that men are lazy and they want the easy way out, that they prefer easy women compared to a complex woman with complex needs.  

Men actually prefer demanding women!  But you have to really understand what this means from a man’s perspective:

For a man, succeeding at satisfying a woman with big and complex needs is a BIGGER win!  We don’t mind the challenge, as long as the challenge is an HONEST one.  And the challenge is honest if, when the man delivers on what is being demanded of him, the well-deserved REWARD is waiting for him.  What is that well-deserved reward?  It’s the same—a happy woman.  If we know that bringing you a single flower is going to make you a little bit happy, but bringing you a bouquet is going to make you more happy, each man, every single time, is going to go for the bouquet!  The equation is simple for us—we want the biggest win we can get our hands on.  But if a bouquet and a single flower generate the same level of happiness in you, then we may not think it worth the effort to gather 20 flowers when 1 will have the same impact.

However, how women generally understand the notion of being a ‘demanding’ woman is something entirely different.  Most women think being demanding means ‘not being easily satisfied’.  Or worse, NEVER being satisfied.  From the male perspective, such a woman is not a possibility for a bigger win; she is a proposition for perpetual losing!  ‘No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you will never succeed at making me happy.’  Most marriages end on this note!

A woman who insists on being unhappy, unsatisfied, dissatisfied in life is pretty much guaranteeing her ongoing failure with men.  From a man’s perspective, she is a bad investment.  She is like a boss who will never pay you no matter how hard you work for her, no matter how much you produce for her.

 

Learn This Win-Lose Mechanism Of Men!

The modern, liberated woman tends to be quite vocal about how men are not showing up fully, of the skills and techniques men ought to learn and master in order to be better candidates for dating and sex.  And I’m all for that!  It’s great that women are getting more demanding.  And I personally feel men have been lagging in stepping up and acquiring the skills they need in order to deliver better in their relationship and their sexing with women.  But this here is one skill that women desperately need to acquire.  Learn the Win-Lose mechanism in men.  Start paying attention.  Observe your man.  Tune into his heart.  Become sensitive to these green and red lights on his chest.  If you become interested and start paying attention, his inner experience of winning and losing will become almost as apparent as if there were actual green and red lights on his chest.

And this skill is not just for your romantic relationships.  You will learn an incredible amount about ALL men if you tune into how they are experiencing their wins and losses in life, how every little thing that women do and say to men can make the red or green come on.  Men are terribly tender in this mechanism.  I will say one more time:  We don’t govern this mechanism.  It governs us.  We are at its effect.  And we live by its guidance.  We are built to chase that which gives us a win and to avoid that which gives us a loss.

Start paying attention to this in all the men around you and you will acquire some empathy for the hearts and souls of men.  Extend this to your relationship with your brothers and fathers and sons and other men in your life.  

Once you tune into this phenomenon, once you are able to see it plain as day, the CHOICE of the matter will become very apparent to you.  What kind of woman do you want to be?  One who is constantly leaving men smaller after she is done with them?  Or one who leaves her men bigger?

 

Maneuvering a Man by His Green (Cheat Sheet)

Learning to guide and maneuver a man by his green and making winning requests is an art form that woman direly need to learn.  For women who have been entrenched in their disapproval of the masculine, this transition takes deliberate practice over a stretch of time.  Here is a cheat sheet for how to influence your man, offer him guidance and give him productive feedback without creating a loss for him:

Hate the sin.  Love the sinner!

Approve of the man first.  Then give him information on how he might do things differently that would make you even happier and cause you to approve of him even more. 

And before you get out your laundry list of all the man-improvement upgrades you would like to program in his system, take a 6 month sabbatical from your agenda.  Simply start appreciating and acknowledging him for everything he is doing right ALREADY!  This is a hefty spiritual practice for a woman.  It will reveal to you just how much your ego is addicted to handing out disapproval.

More bad news:  You are going to have to entirely give up the tone/energy/activity of whining and complaining.   That is all red-light energy.

 

PLEASE Start Driving on the Green Side of the Road

Here’s how I know that women actually are already intuitively familiar with the green and red lights on men’s chest:  They’ve been trying to operate men by the wrong light! 

Women are deeply trapped right now in their disapproval of men.  This is as profoundly a spiritual matter as it is a relational one.  There is a lot of forgiveness and housecleaning that needs to happen between women and men for us to truly move forward into a new paradigm.  Give Green a try.  Women everywhere today are very busy failing with men.  Women seem hellbent on making sure men keep losing with them.  The disapproving of men and masculinity has become our cultural modus operandi.  Handing men losses, treating them like morons and punchlines, speaking as if it’s a foregone conclusion that men are base and gross and lazy and stupid and useless — all of it has become normalized.

But how is this stance working out for you gals?  How is poking the chest of your men till that red light keeps on flashing and flashing working out for your romantic and intimate relationships?

Give Green a chance.  Give approval a chance.

And if just the idea of APPROVING of men raises your hackles, please do some spiritual work and clean out your system and bleed the man-bashing out of your soul.

Until you are able to enter into winning relationships with men, until you learn the art of driving your man by his green light rather than nagging him with the red one, there is no hope of any great loving or friendliness or sensuality in your  exploration.

You will never get the best out of your man if he his losing.  You will never get the most out of your man by trying to drive him with your disapproval and your dissatisfaction.  Cannot be done.  Has never been done.  Will never work. 

Shedding your disapproval of men is part of your journey as a woman.

Shedding your addiction to your misery is part of your spiritual journey.

Creating a winning relationship with your man needs to be an aspect of your genius in this world and a part of your self-expression as a woman. 

Dare I say, restoring some RESPECT for men and the masculine in your heart is a deep and true aspect of your spiritual journey as a woman.

The possibility of entering into Ecstasy with your man depends on it.

[Actually, the survival of the planet may very well depend on it.  At the heart of the man-woman crisis is the anger and disapproval women are harboring towards men.] 

If you become a green woman, you will be SO FAR ahead of the curve!

Most men have never met a woman they could consistently win with!  If a man meets a woman he feels he can win with 50% of the time, he feels the gods have smiled upon his fortune.  If you can learn the true art of creating a winning relationship with a man, you will become a rare creature who will be prized and pursued by the male archetype.  

Men are tired of being driven by women who have no idea how they actually operate.  With their unskilled and counterproductive handling, we don’t get to drive as fast as we are capable.  We don’t get to bring our best and show our best in relationships.  And our gears are worn and bent from all the losing.

Learn this fundamental aspect of the masculine, and you and your man will be zooming past everyone else down the relationship highway.

Also, don’t try to look for any role models for this kind of winning relationship in the media, in movies, in novels, on TV.  It does not exist in drama and literature!  Why?  Because drama is driven by conflict and dysfunction—two characters whose interests are pitted against each other in a zero-sum struggle to the death.  The winning relationship I am describing is built on a foundation of friendship.  It is built on two people genuinely interested in making sure that both parties are winning and having fun and getting off.  When such a relationship is present, there is no drama in it!  It does not lend itself to narrative.  It’s too peaceful.  It is too celebratory.  

And one of the peaks of that together-celebration is Ecstasy.

 

 

 

 

 

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